Adoption Books

"An extremely useful parenting handbook... truly outstanding ... strongly recommended."
--Library Journal (starred review)

"A tremendous resource for parents and professionals alike."
--Thomas Atwood, president and CEO, National Council for Adoption

The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family--and addressing their special needs--requires care, consideration, and compassion.

Written by two research psychologists specializing in adoption and attachment, The Connected Child will help you:

• Build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child
• Effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders
• Discipline your child with love without making him or her feel threatened

"A must-read not only for adoptive parents, but for all families striving to correct and connect with their children."
--Carol S. Kranowitz, author of The Out-of-Sync Child

"Drs. Purvis and Cross have thrown a life preserver not only to those just entering uncharted waters, but also to those struggling to stay afloat."
--Kathleen E. Morris, editor of S. I. Focus magazine

"Truly an exceptional, innovative work . . . compassionate, accessible, and founded on a breadth of scientific knowledge and clinical expertise."
--Susan Livingston Smith, program director, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute

"The Connected Child is the literary equivalent of an airline oxygen mask and instructions:  place the mask over your own face first, then over the nose of your child. This book first assists the parent, saying, in effect,  'Calm down, you're not the first mom or dad in the world to face this hurdle, breathe deeply, then follow these simple steps.'  The sense of not facing these issues alone--the relief that your child's behavior is not off the charts--is hugely comforting. Other children have behaved this way; other parents have responded thusly; welcome to the community of therapeutic and joyful adoptive families."
--Melissa Fay Greene, author of There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children

Along with technical explanations of challenges such as self-esteem, childhood grief, and limit-testing, the book includes a tremendous number of personal vignettes illustrating attachment-related situations. Parents who are convinced that only their child has ever behaved a certain way are sure to take comfort in these stories; not only do they include kids from all backgrounds and age groups, but each has an ultimately happy ending. The emotional health of the whole family is also paramount according to the book--with plenty of rest and "alone time," caregivers are more likely to be emotionally available when they are most needed.

Aching to expand from a couple to a family, Jeff Gammage—a reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer—and his wife, Christine, embarked upon a journey that would carry them across a shifting landscape of emotion and through miles of red tape and bureaucratic protocol. On the other side of the world—in the smog-choked city of Changsha in Hunan Province—a silent, stoic little girl was waiting for them: Jin Yu, their new daughter. Now they would have to learn how to fully embrace a life altered beyond recognition by new concerns and responsibilities—and by a love unlike any they'd ever felt before.

Alive with insight and feeling, China Ghosts is an eye-opening depiction of the foreign adoption process and a remarkable glimpse into a different culture. Most important, it is a poignant, heartfelt, and intensely intimate chronicle of the making of a family.

Adoption practices have evolved considerably since this book's first publication in 1986, and the new version of the "Dr. Spock for adoptive parents" reflects the latest theories. Drawing on the findings and practices of pediatricians, social workers, scientists, and adoptive parents, Raising Adopted Children is carefully and thoroughly researched. Chapters on open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption are combined with advice on bonding and attachment, breast-feeding an adoptive infant (possible but complicated), dealing with schools, privacy issues, adopting a child with disabilities, adopting as a single parent, and the challenges of adolescence. While Melina's many years of professional and personal experience shape her advice, she remains very evenhanded. For example, she's a strong proponent of the "early telling" theory of adoption (being open about the adoption with the child from the beginning), but she also clearly presents other points of view, and, throughout the book, encourages parents to make decisions that feel right for them.

Our adopted children come to us from loss-loss of a birthfamily, perhaps a culture, and sometimes language. There are helpful things that we can do to address these issues, and Adoption Parenting helps you to create an awareness to do just that. We also look at stumbling blocks to good parenting, and standard parenting practices that aren't the best solution for adopted children.

We look at the core issues all members of the adoption triad face, and look at how that affects standard parenting challenges like sleeping through the night, discipline and attachment. We cover specific challenges families have faced: FASD, trauma and PTSD, sensory integration, speech and language delays, learning issues, food issues, racial differences, and at ways to effectively parent a post-institutionalized child.

We also look at how each of us has been parented and how that affects the parenting choices we make for our children. There is a section which includes articles on Post Adoption Depression, the importance of support networks (both for your children and for yourself) and when and how to find therapists if that is warranted. The book is filled with resources and links to help find more information on a specific topic as your parenting or your child needs.

The contributors to this book include professionals in their respective fields like Dan Hughes, PhD; Arthur Becker-Weidman, PhD; Beth O'Malley,MEd; Adam Pertman; Ellen Singer, LCSW-C; Laurie Miller, MD; Mary Beth Williams, PhD, LCSW, CTS; Barbara Elleman, MHS, OTR/L, BCP; Marcy Axness, PhD; Christopher J. Alexander, PhD; Sharon Glennen, PhD, CCC-SLP; Doris Landry, MS, LLC.

Contributors also include parents who have had to learn to parent the children who have come to them. Many of these parents have become experts as well! The advice and the wisdom they have to share is honest and heartening. Adoptees who are now adults have shared experiences on their growing up that are interwoven in the book and there are contributions from birth mothers as well.